the grapetastrophy

Some of you may have been around for the $20 watermelon….or maybe you forgot about the $20 watermelon.

Either way, I'll wait for you to refresh your memory or make a new one. It's important to have this background knowledge.

Ready?

Here we go.

Apparently, history repeats itself in the produce department. We like to find the things that are ridiculously expensive without realizing it until after we make it through the checkout.

And by that point, knowing how Tim refuses to be shamed by fruit, it's too late.

I partially blame this particular expenditure on doing the GET IT AND GET OUT mad dash that was grocery shopping on Saturday. We were dealing with a baby who wanted to graze any and all items within reach, edible or not, and a child who wanted to be in charge of the grocery list and got upset if we didn't go line by line down the list versus in order of what each aisle had.

I tried to explain how it would not be efficient to go back and forth, up and down the same aisles over and over again, but I don't think it really sank in. At all.

Why, you ask? Well, I was talking to Kellan AND Tim at the same time about completely different things, so instead of giving an important, coherent lesson, it sounded more like, "We need to get all of the things…DID YOU GET THE BREAD?….all of the things in one aisle without having to…YES TWO LOAVES….without having to go back and….ALSO GRAB SOME MILK….forth…MILK? THE HAPPY COW KIND…I know the list isn't in order….YES A WHOLE GALLON….I didn't have time to put it in order….Kellan did you check off bread and milk??

I usually organize the list by aisle but we made one on the fly *as* we drove to the store from a park. I realized we were close to Whole Foods and made a split second decision to go as we drove out of the parking lot.

Looking back, we probably made a whole bunch of errors that led to this expenditure, but hey. That's how we roll. Sometimes. Most of the time….goodbyeeeeee type a trying to take over.

Anyway, Kellan wanted to be in charge of checking things off the list and Hunter wanted to be held and sample anything, whether we put we put it in the cart or not. Kid eats everything. All the time. By the time we left it looked like Hunter had gone into battle with a buffet table and lost…handily.

So, anyhow, the entire time we are grocery shopping my brain is in four places at once and really I cannot ever concentrate fully on one thing. I walk around feeling hectic. I don't know any other way to describe it. I actually feel hectic. Like a swirling dervish of questions and items and what was I doings.

After we filled our cart with mostly things not even on the list (which Kellan protested and then added to the list because details are important, people), I left Tim to handle the checking out on his own. I decided I was getting a smoothie because I was starving.

Kellan spent this time running back and forth between the two of us (straight shot, visible the whole time) to relay information.

Mommy is getting a smoothie.

Daddy asked what size smoothie.

Twelve ounces.

What's in this bag?

Cookies.

Apparently an hour long hike wasn't enough to wear him out.

By the time we got everybody and everything strapped into the car, we sat in the front seats and just stared at each other like what even just happened? Did we even buy anything on the list?

Tim then started going down the receipt to see what all of the "high ticket" items were. Apparently he didn't get to watch the register during checkout, so this was his way of doing it…albeit after the fact.

"What was $10.81??"

He traced his finger along the dotted lines ……what is this……GRAPES?

We bought $10.81 worth of GRAPES???

How many packages of grapes did we buy??

I looked at him all, "One."

This was too much information…or maybe too little information, for Tim.

Why on earth were they ten dollars??? What kind of grapes are ten dollars???

They were organic?

(Apparently that's my go to excuse for expensive produce)

Tim stuffed the receipt in the cup holder all, "These $10 grapes are right on par with that $20 watermelon."

In its defense, it was a really good watermelon….

He kept going under his breath all, "They better be really fantastic grapes for $10. TEN DOLLARS. For grapes!"

And he left it at that until we got home and I tried a few of the grapes.

I looked at him and smiled and said, "These are really good grapes! Totally worth the $10!"

(Because they actually really were)

Tim looks at me dead in the eye and says, "I better not see one. single. grape. in the trash. Not a one!"

Produce: 2
Tim: 0

rugs to radon

You know when you had this whole plan and it all seemed like it was going to work out, so much so that you started putting a lot of time and energy into acting on the plan and then even started writing a blog post regarding some of those pieces parts about said plan….and then.

AND. THEN.

You’re so funny, universe. I know you’re actually looking out for us but really. So funny. Appreciate it and all but still. Here we go again.

SO. The plan gets a kink and the kink is so serious that you’re not even sure if you’re going to carry out the plan anymore.

Hello, welcome to my life, the current edition.

Of course this allllllllllll revolves around the hazmat house. And this time it’s actually living up to its name! Way to be a team player, house. I guess if you describe a thing a certain way enough times it ends up taking on those properties. Murphys Law or something.

Probably not Murphy at all but definitely some kind of law the universe has in place.

Anyway.

We are in the process of having appraisals and inspections and all completed and yesterday we received the radon report.

What’s radon, you say?

You have no idea what I’m talking about?

Sidebar: If you live in Colorado, I hope I’m not talking to you.

Quick science lesson for everybody else: 

And if anybody has a better lesson on this or if I am describing this improperly, please share.

Radon is a gas that is created by the natural breakdown of uranium in soil. It comes up from said soil into your house. When you have this gas in an enclosed and well insulated/sealed area like a house, it floats around until it exhausts its half life, which is around 4 minutes and that is plenty of time for the particles to get into your lungs. Having this happen day after day, year after year can cause lung cancer. Because radon is a carcinogen and carcinogens are super bad for your body. Radon is more prevalent in some areas of the country (looking at you, Colorado…and now apparently also South Carolina…) and it is also more frequently an issue when you have a basement.

Usually you have a radon mitigation system in your house to combat this. It is a pipe that goes from the ground to outside to vent the gas. It doesn’t remove it completely but it gets rid of enough of it to get it to lower levels. Still a carcinogen…just not as much. Really that sounds ridiculous but it is what it is…because radon is everywhere.

The hazmat house said it had a mitigation system.

The radon test result said that mitigation system is not doing its job.

Levels that warrant intervention are at 4…..okay really it’s way more complicated than you probably want to know.

Brass tax is the house radon levels are high and we are concerned. I don’t want any of us exposed to a carcinogen at levels that are putting us at a much higher than average percentage of developing lung cancer. 

Yes, we know the system can be fixed. But the big question is will it really BE FIXED? Yes, they’ll do another 2 day test and it that comes back as acceptable…and we say we will go ahead with the sale…….

Okay really. It feels like I’m trying to justify us eating bowls of fried sugar washed down with soda and driving around without seatbelts – and we do not do any of those, for the record.
The most accurate radon test is 90 days and if we decide to buy the house and then do the 90 day test and find out that radon is still a big issue….mitigation system or not….then what

Do you see where I am going with all of this?

And to think this post was going to be about the distress we were having about how difficult and confusing it is to buy an area rug…..one email later and look where we are now.