Let’s just jump right in and talk about how I want to redo the last 24 hours, shall we? I am so mad at myself and feel like such an idiot that I may as well just share it. Sharing is caring. And in this sense, hopefully cathartic because I was legit crying along with Kellan *and* Hunter on the way home.
Let me back up a minute…
So, yesterday…..no. Wait. Let me start with what’s really going on here, other than my apparent inability to not make ridiculous mistakes.
So, when we bought our house, we knew we had a small garage. It is a two-car garage but it is just BARELY a two-car garage. And the thing we didn’t know was how awkward it would be to get cars in and out of said garage because it is a side entry garage with little runway to actually, you know, BACK UP. So, I’m doing the three-or-more-point turn every time I have to go somewhere. Every time I have to back out of the garage, my car warning sensor things beep and yell at me the whole time because YOU’RE TOO CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! It also will stop the car by itself from even going backwards if I am about to hit something or if a car is coming that it can see before me (technology these days…).
I have the same issue pulling back into the garage, especially when Tim’s car is already there. It’s a tight turn for me to make, and I am already challenged when it comes to moving vehicles into and out of small or awkward spaces.
Since we have moved in, I have managed to do okay. I figured out how to get in and get out and not make a disaster.
Maybe I’ll blame it on the super moon. I feel like I need to blame something other than myself because the guilt is too much for me to have to bear alone.
So, yesterday, I’m coming back into the driveway after taking Kellan and Hunter to a Christmas parade, which, by the way, was too loud for Kellan and too exciting for Hunter, who was actually screaming at me and doing the stiff-as-a-board trick to try and get me to put him down every time I scooped him up as he “ran” (as fast as kids who are just learning how to walk can run) out into the street to try and participate. Double time if it was a group playing music or a band. The kid LOVES music.
Finally, Kellan was like, “I think I’m done.” And I was like, “Excellent, me too.” Because I wasn’t sure how much longer Hunter was going to handle *not* being able to be part of something he wasn’t technically invited to participate in.
We drive home, I’m doing my thing, and I knew I would have to maneuver around Tim’s car to get into the garage.
I do that. I think I’m doing pretty well until I hear a loud CRUNCH SCRAPE noise and I was just like OMG.
WHERE ARE YOU NOW, SENSORS?!?
You’d think they’d have been going like crazy because I actually was close enough to hit something and did. But nooooooooooooooo.
I got out and realized I had broken the house and my car. All at the same time.
Tim spent however long trying to fix the garage door and the trim and some kind of weather stripping I pulled out. He managed to get that back in working order, but my car…well lets just say I had to go take it to get assessed for damages this morning.
And boy, it had some damages. $500 worth of damages.
I sent Tim a text to tell him what it was going to cost and he was all, “Ouch, well, it could have been worse.”
IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
By the time I was done at the collision place and heading back, Hunter was done and sad and crying and tired. I was trying to get home as quickly as possible because once he loses it in the car, its all over. Loses it is really a nice way of putting it.
I get to our exit, I go to the light to turn right, I slow down and mostly stop and turn and start going on my way when what do I spy behind me but flashing blue lights.
Because of course this is happening right now.
I literally have only had one ticket in my entire life, and it was back in high school.
I pull over into a bank parking lot and the officer gets out of his car and stares into all of the back windows before coming up to mine and is like, “You didn’t make a complete stop at the light to turn right.”
I was just like………….I stopped? And he was all, “It’s the law to make a complete stop, even though nobody does it, but unfortunately I can’t pull everybody over.”
Right. UNFORTUNATELY you can just pull ME over with now two children who are crying after I have just left a place telling me I will owe them $500 plus however much a rental car is going to cost because it’s not like I did one of those fix it in a day type deals. No, when I mess up, I go all out.
There was a woman in a car parked next to me, who couldn’t leave because the cop was blocking her car, and rolled down her window to talk to me and was like, “You do not deserve this! I cannot even believe he pulled you over!”
I wait for forever for this freaking ticket because apparently he has no sense of what it means to have sad kids strapped into carseats.
Kellan was like, “Why can’t you let me out?!”
I was all, “We don’t make sudden movements when police are involved. If I try to get out, trust me, it’ll just make it worse.”
Kellan was not a fan of that answer or of the cavalierness of the cop taking his sweet time, probably trying to find something more on my record…which, sorry to say for him, he won’t, because there is nothing there.
Kellan kept crying and getting more and more worked up because we (*I*) got a ticket and I was just trying to keep it all together like Kellan, it’s fine. It happens. It’s just a ticket.
That didn’t help.
Hunter was past being consoled.
So I just sat there. Feeling helpless and mad and irritated and just like, why me? Why now? WTF FML. Along with any and ever other acronym you can throw in there.
Finally the cop comes back all, “Here is your citation. Blah blah blah you can pay this outright or you can go to court on this date and the judge *might* help you out, but I can’t make any promises…but I’ll be there that day!”
Oh, I’ll bet you will. You and your sunglasses and smug little smile.
After he left the woman was like, “He gave you a ticket?!? For how much?!?! AND points?!?! That is terrible!”
Welcome to my life, woman in the bank parking lot. You will now find me obeying every last detail of every last road sign everywhere in the world forever.
When we were finally able to leave, Kellan was still hysterical and I was just like, “Kellan. We are going to just not talk right now.” Hunter had exhausted himself from screaming and had fallen asleep.
I could barely keep myself in one piece and hold everyone else together, so, quiet time it was for the remainder of the short trip home. Because I was almost home. Almost. Before more rain came pouring down on my money down the drain parade.
When we got back to the house, I sent Tim another text in response to his “it could have been worse” one all, “Yes, well. Guess what? I made it worse. FYI make sure you come to a complete stop everywhere because apparently it’s a hot button for our police here (that’s what the cop told me). So, my Christmas present can now be you paying my freaking ticket.”
In the last 24 hours I have managed to suck every last bit of holly jolly from my soul while racking up over $700 in avoidable things. I mean, it’s not Christmas time without unnecessarily spending a ton of money, right? Well, I think I’ve basically spent three or so Christmases in one day, so I’m out.