We still haven't found a house.
Well, wait. Wait wait wait WAIT.
Let me rephrase.
We found one house that we absolutely LOVED and put a contract on it and then they decided they didn't want to sell it anymore.
We found another house that got all the way through inspection and then failed the radon piece of it in a big way. Nix that one.
We found another one and they don't want to sell it for a reasonable price and apparently are trying to make $150,000 (yes, I put the correct number of zeroes) off the sale of said house from what they bought it for a few years ago.
We ain't payin' for no college, unless it's our own kids, yo.
So. Off we go again today to see five more houses. Yesterday we saw two inside and drove by four more to see if we liked the neighborhood enough to explore more in depth.
We didn't, FYI.
Tim's company thinks we are being picky and are looking for a "dream" home and we are just like no. All we are trying to find is one that doesn't have holes down to the wood in the carpet, backs to a huge retention pond with a gate that has a door leading right into it in their backyard for small children to fall in, a door on the second story that leads directly to the hospital with a broken neck because they didn't want to upgrade to a deck option so when you open the door, there is nothing but a rickety wooden "gate" to keep you from taking a 15 foot drop to the ground below (why they didn't just put a window there is beyond me), wallpaper and paint in the darkest most awful colors….I mean we aren't going to be living here for lots of years. Only a few years.
And because we know we will be moving, we want a house we don't have to fix for 50% of the time we will live in it and only have 50% of the time to enjoy it. And then have to worry if we will get our money back out so we have money to put down on wherever we end up next. It's a vicious cycle and we know how to play the game and really, Tim's company, you should be more helpful.
It doesn't make it any easier that we are currently in a sellers market. So now, all these people are looking at their house through rose colored glasses thinking it's worth $150,000 more than it was five years ago.
(One hundred and fifty. thousand. dollars. I still cannot get over that.)
This morning while Tim was making pancakes and Kellan and Hunter were playing and I was drinking coffee, probably, I said what I have apparently been saying every time we are about to go see a house. Something exactly along the lines of, "I really hope we like one of these so we can put a contract on it and be done!"
Right after those words came out of my mouth Tim was like stop! You're jinxing us!
I was like what? No I'm not. That's ridiculous.
I told him I didn't believe in those sorts of things until he reminded me of all the old wives tales I made him do to try and get knocked up last year.
(Whatever. It worked.)
He saw that I knew he was right and so he looked at me like, "mmmmhmmmm you know you do."
Okay, fine. We all believe in those things.
Even if we don't want to admit it.
My favorite number is two and I prefer living in a house with an even address number.
THERE. I SAID IT.
Tim: "We need to try and mix it up a little."
As in, stop saying how much I hope we like one of the houses.
So I looked at him and deadpanned, "I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO GO DO THIS TODAY."
Tim's brain immediately goes into solve it mode. "I'll just go or you can go and I'll stay…."
I looked at him, waiting for him to catch on and he just looked back at me like what??? I'm trying to solve the problem! You don't want to go so just one of us can instead……..
Mix it up you said.
Change the words you said.
Missed the joke, you did.
And Tim, who is not one to like the fact that he missed out on a joke, was like, "You sounded so serious! It was so real! And whooooshhhhh! There was a left turn and I wasn't on it!"
For the rest of breakfast I was given the Actor of the Year award and Tim's brain was a broken record because he couldn't believe he could set up a joke so perfectly and then one second later, miss the bus.